I had a bad day yesterday. I was mean, whiny, disrespectful, and rude to my Mom. I had to go to bed early. I didn't use my tools all day. I was mad and I wanted to get my Mom mad too.
I felt mad when Mom caught me making RAD choices. I didn't want to be a NORMAL kid because it was too hard. I didn't want to work hard. I needed lots of rest.
Now I am trying to change it up!!!!! I think I am going to be a NORMAL little kid TODAY!
Martin: I can see what you are doing and that is not good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can you use some of my tools??? You are being mean to your Mom and your HEART. I did
that yesterday too. I hope you work on your heart today. ♥
Miss. Rebecca: I have more good days than bad days.
Thank you for the COMMENTS!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE STICKERS AND FOLLOWERS AND COMMENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sincerely,
J
Trauma Doesn't Tell Time
11 years ago
8 comments:
You are so talented. You are able to put your feelings into words. Good for you for seeing what you are doing and working on changing things. It is hard work, isn't it?? I am proud of you!
Hi J,
I'm so glad you aren't letting one bad day make you want to give up. You are an amazing kid!
My kids think they are all grown up and don't have to work on their RAD. Maybe I will let them see your blog and how hard you are working so they understand they can feel better too.
Mary in Texas
mom to 4, two were adopted from Nebraska and are now 13 and 15.
"We may not have it all together, but together we have it all!"
I always love reading your blog in the morning. It makes me happy.
Hi J,
I think today you are going to have a better day.
I wanted to post and let you know that my RAD kids are using your tools and it is working. They have good and bad days like you do but it's starting to be more good than bad days.
I try to get them to talk to me and share how they are feeling. I know sharing feelings is scary. I get scared to tell them and show them how much I love them because I think they will try to hurt me more. But I want them to share their feelings so I can try to understand them better. It also hurts when I can't help them and I know they are scared and hurting.
What do you think is a good way for me to ask them how they are feeling so that we can help each other?
Sending you happy thoughts for a better day!
~Sasha
J, it really sounds like you understand what you did wrong and WHY you made RAD choices. That's so important for making better choices in the future!!
I have two questions for you to answer someday when you don't have anything else to write about. I don't need answers urgently.
Since I'm still preparing to be a mom, I'd like to hear your advice for how to get a home ready for a kid (we don't know yet whether ours will be a RAD kid) from a kid's point of view.
Also, since you're such a great writer I assume you're a big reader too! Can you tell us about some of your favorite books? Does your history with many people hurting you when they should have protected you have an impact on what you read? Do you think reading helps you understand how to be a normal little kid?
Dear J,
I'm glad to hear you have more good days than bad days. I have more good days than bad days too. (I don't have RAD but I have other things I'm working on.)
When I first got treatment for depression, I remember it was kind of scary. Before treatment I knew how to respond to everything: I just had the same sad, angry thoughts all day long. Once I got treatment, those sad, angry thoughts started to go away, but I didn't know what to replace them with. It was kind of scary! I was about 12 at the time. I remember I used to actually miss feeling sad, because at least it was something I was used to. Getting used to something new is exhausting sometimes.
When I first started getting treatment for depression, I felt like depression was my home and "normal" was some new, weird, foreign place. I felt homesick for depression. When I first started getting treatment, I felt homesick for depression a lot. But now, feeling normal is what I'm used to. Now normal is my new home and I hardly ever miss depression anymore.
When you wrote about how hard it is to be a normal kid, it reminded me of how hard it was for me back when I was learning to be a normal kid. I don't know if you ever feel homesick for RAD the way I felt homesick for depression, but in case you do I thought it might help for you to know that that feeling starts to go away eventually.
Rebecca
Dear, J I have been really good to Mommy,Daddy and Joshua.On Monday night Martin and I go to a lady's house named Mrs.Robinson.A lot of kids that go to her church comes, we used to go to her church but now we are at a different one.We talk about God and we sing some songs and have a bible story then we have a snack and then we say good bye and go. Martin could not go this week so I went by my self.There is all ways some thing new at Mrs. Robinson's house I had a good time.What about you. YOUR FRIEND!!!!!!!! STEPHANIE.Good bye!!!!.PS.you are such an amazing girl.
This is Stephanie and Martin's Mom. Thank you for sharing even when it's hard. I think being a RAD kid must be so difficult. But you're already choosing to make a difference in other kids' lives, just like your mom has made in your life. She is awesome and you are, too. I know there are many grown-ups who don't work as hard as you and Steph and Martin. You should be proud of yourself.
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